affirmation

 i have the tendency to believe that my work isn't good enough. it may be due to the fact that i'm a perfectionist or maybe because i've only 'learned' how to paint/draw in these intro courses i've taking in university. i've always doodled and painted but nothing too big because i was always afraid of tackling such big empty spaces i'd always think "what if i screw up?" or "what if it doesn't look like i imagine it to be?". thankfully the two courses (painting 1 & 2) have helped me overcome those issues. last year i learned how to tackle what i thought then was a big canvas (ended up being about 26" X 36"?) and this year i tackled a 4 foot by 8 foot piece of plywood. it wasn't as scary as i had imagined, it was somewhat freeing and i think i'm addicted to larger surfaces now. anyways that went off on a tangent, basically i don't think i'm that great. i think the work i do to be mediocore because i don't exactly know how i do the things i do. but this month has just be confirmation in my talent lets say. my proffessor constantly mentions my brush strokes and to keep that movement- i honestly don't know how i do them i just do it and apparently it's pleasing to the eye. i've had classmates, friends, and even fourth year BFA students (one who rarely compliments a piece of work especially that of a first year-according to his girlfriend) complementing and admiring my painting. it's completely shocking to me, i just get overwhelmed with happiness when one person (outside of family) compliments my work and to have various people telling me i'm talented or simply gawking at my work is so soooo sooo just wonderful. i've had "wow!" "you painted that?!" "it's so beautiful" and i still can't quite filter it. today a peer came up to me in another class we have and said "i really loved your painting. it was one of my favourites out of the class" that just made my day. i just really needed that affirmation because i was getting discouraged. 

i pretty much just want to say thank you to all of you that have encouraged me with my paintings/photography it truly does mean a lot to me and i'm so grateful.

oh also, apparently my painting should go for $1000 (at least) according to a fellow student. that just blows my mind. i don't know if i'd sell my work though because i don't know who would purchase it...anyways yeah that's all.